Monday, August 25, 2008

We beat the Colts! We beat the Colts!

What? That was just a pre-season game? Well, that's a buzz kill. You'll forgive the confusion as I had to turn off the sound. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put three ex-players in the booth together (without anyone who went to broadcasting school) needs to be permanently banned from working in television. Sterling Sharpe, Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk combined for what was likely the worst broadcast team ever and I'm including those public access midget hockey tournaments along with the Joe Carter experiment by the Jays a few years back. They were the Dream Team of mispronounced names and avoiding insightful comments. You would likely find more hard-hitting analysis during the broadcast of the Santa Claus Parade than you received last night from these three. At least they seemed to be enjoying themselves as we, the viewers, certainly were not.


As per most national broadcasts of Buffalo games, the Bills players were relegated to the background as to focus on whoever it is they're playing against. Significantly more attention was given to the status of the Colts' backup Jim Sorgi than any of the players on the other team who, unlike Sorgi, actually appear in regular season games before Indianapolis has homefield advantage in the playoffs sewn up. It's grown rather tiresome but probably won't change until we start winning playoff games. The other option is to pique the network execs interest by signing a couple of yesterday's stories like Brett Favre or Jason Taylor. Hopefully people start to care about the Bills because of the former not the latter which would be nothing short of a desperation act.

Bills backup QB JP Losman appears to be especially upset by how the Bills are constantly ignored outside of Western New York so much so that he has made a spectacle of his face to call attention to this injustice. That's the only possible explanation for Losman's messed-up facial hair. Check it out for yourself:


Sorry that's a terrible picture but I don't have the time to find a better one. It's clear enough, however, to make my point. He's got a bit of a pornstar 'stache with wolverine-ish chops, which inexplicably flair out at the cheeks. The lower beard is trimmed in a rather standard fashion although there's no connection between it and the 'stache or the ridiculous soulpatch. To top it all off he's forgone his moppish haircut for a straightlaced side-part providing even more confusion. None of it makes any sense together. There's absolutely no cohesion. I've heard that Joe Biden is arguing for his face to be broken up into three separate, autonomous regions. He's got equal parts Sunni, Shiite and Kurd going on there. Perhaps a breakup may be the only answer to deal with this mess.

Besides the announcing and Losman's sideshow of a face, Bills fans have to be quite content with how things looked in week 3, which is traditionally the closest teams get to a regular season game during the pre-season. Let's hope the news on the injury/holdout front doesn't worsen between now and the September 7th opener against the Seahawks. In the absence of that it's hard to not get excited about the team's prospects.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Poor, misguided Bills fans....you get excited every year only for a big letdown. I'll be there cheering with you if they make the playoffs, but sadly I think it's a longshot.