Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A Nugget in the Footnotes

...so there we are sitting in the board room waiting for everyone to dial in from the international offices. Jones, as usual, was late calling in so Peterson asks "maybe he got the time difference screwed up. What time zone is he in?" I then got that tingling feeling you get when you know you've just been set up for the most perfect joke ever. Your eyes get wide, your body starts to shake in anticipation and then it happened. "Oh" answered my boss "I think it's Bangkok Time".... and was it ever. Whamm-o! Direct hit. He's on the ground in obvious discomfort. It was literally perfect.

In retrospect, maybe it wasn't the most appropriate venue and maybe that contributed to my subsequent dismissal but really, how can you let something like that go?

***

You political junkies out there are surely familiar with the most recent bit of campaign controversy. Sen. Clinton is coming under fire for not actually coming under fire. Yesterday it came to light that one of her favorite war stories, the one about dodging sniper fire while on a critical foreign policy mission in Bosnia, was just a little embellished. The media has grasped on to video footage of then-First Lady Clinton walking casually off the plane with her daughter Chelsea. It also shows her stopping to listen to a young girl read a poem. Either this is one steely broad, not to mention a young poet with ice water coursing through her veins, or the sniper fire angle is a tad manufactured. The other exaggeration appears to be in regards to the "critical foreign policy nature" of the trip. This is not getting as much play as there may not be actual proof as to what was on Mrs. Clinton's itinerary. Luckily, the crack investigative journalists here at the WWNW have all the proof we need. Accompanying the First Lady and Chelsea on this trip was this guy:



That's right, noted Balkan affairs scholar Sinbad. Something tells me that if you're planning a trip to "get down to business" you'd probably opt for the head of a think tank, a professor or maybe even a civil servant. Sinbad was none of these things. Trust me, I looked it up (he was, for a short time, a secret service agent in First Kid and was the head of a Dorm, not a professor, in a Different World). Apparently she also brought along Pauly Shore to help monitor elections in Haiti and Urkell to advise on a multi-lateral trade agreement in Central America. Given this apparent inability to chose qualified people for important jobs I would be very wary of what a cabinet under President Clinton part Deux would look like.

No comments: