Monday, February 4, 2008

The tears of the Un-undefeated

...he slammed the door to his hotel room behind him and tossed his keys on the dresser. At that moment he noticed a handwritten note folded on the bed. "Adeus Tom. The time has come for me to leave". He clutched the note to his chest, crumpled into his chair and began sobbing...they were the tears of the un-undefeated.

I apologize to you my readers and my employer for getting in a bit late today. After a long night of dancing around Pat Patriot's funeral pyre with all the ewoks I was a wee slow this morning. What a glorious evening it was. What began with duck and fennel scotch eggs (thanks to my brother-in-law for those) ended with the wonderous sight of a dejected Patriots team slinking back to their locker room with forked tails between their legs. While everyone is talking about how unlikely an upset this was I am not so shocked. History has taught us that evil will eventually be defeated as long as hope and goodness still lie deep somewhere within the hearts of men. Eli and company, thank you from all of us.

"Yeah Tom, here in the back. I've got a question. 'You suck'."

I am, however, a bit hesitant to fully let my guard down. Perhaps I've watched a bit too much 24 but I'm somwehat concerned that the threat posed by the vile Patriots has not yet fully passed. Could there be some sort of contingency plan? Did Belichick sneak out some back stairwell into the sewer system only to emerge on the Celtics coaching staff tomorrow? Was he actually the mastermind of all this or are the Chinese somehow involved? Did Victor Drazen have another son we don't know about? and who was Nina speaking german to? The Patriots are defeated, but are they really gone?

All this being said, it is probably time that I move on from slagging the Patriots. It is no longer neccessary to act as the sole dissenting voice in a sea of Patriot panderers. Clearly the tide of public opinion has turned against this team and their coach in particular. Now I feel as though I may even be guilty of excessively piling on and kicking an opponent while they're down. That's very Rodney Harrison of me and quite unbecoming. I shouldn't be taking this much pleasure in one team's defeat no matter how repugnant their behaviour has been. It is time to make ammends and move on. New England, great season, glad you lost. Let's just put all this ugliness behind us and start fresh in September.

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