Monday, January 21, 2008

Super Bowl XLII: Eli vs. Evil

...that brief switchover between songs was all the time I needed to run onstage, grab the mic and unroll the banner. The audience was clearly there for a good time but they still needed to be educated about Darfur. Security was surprisingly slow and I ended up with a good 20 seconds before they shut down the audio and wrestled me away. I spent a couple hours in holding and was let off with just a warning. Of course, I've been given a lifetime ban from the karaoke bar but that's a small penalty to pay. I know Mr. Kowaguchi and the other 5 gentlemen in his party will go home tonight with something to think about.

Firstly, happy Martin Luther King day to all the American readers. Enjoy the day off before all of your investment portfolios disappear. In case you haven't noticed all the world's stock markets are simultaneously imploding. This whole capitalism thing was fun while it lasted, wasn't it. At least we've got Super Bowl XLII (interestingly, also Rogers Clemens' hat size) to look forward to. Not surprisingly, the AFC will be represented by the New England Patriots. More surprisingly, the NFC will be represented by the resurgent New York Giants. The matchup reminds me of a movie I saw once, I think it was called Star Wars. Giants' Quarterback Eli Manning is an unlikely hero and not one I would have chosen a few months ago but hey, why the Hell not? Luke Skywalker was just an awkward kid who kinda dressed like a pixie before Obi-Wan discovered him. He, like Eli, had not previously displayed any of the phenomenal talents afforded to him by his lineage. Now he's finally starting to get it just when he is being called upon to defeat the bad guys and save the world. With his imposing size and strange voice Michael Strahan is clearly Chewbacca. For sake of simplicity let's just say Coach Tom Coughlin is C3PO, placekicker Laurence Tynes is a lightsaber and Offensive Coordinator Kevin Gilbride is the Oscar-winning score. The Patriots' resemblance to the dark side is so obvious that to point it out would be condescending to you my readers. Let me just leave you with one thought. The guy in charge where's a hoodie...

Somehow Belichick looks even more miserable when he smiles.

If I recall the Death Star was a 14 point favourite as well, and wasn't there a scene where one of the bad guys slapped Princess Leia around (I think it was Lt. Moss)? The parallels are uncanny. Let's just hope the results are the same.

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