Friday, September 28, 2007

A liitle whine and then some cheese

I have two head/facial issues this morning which are distracting me to no end. Firstly, I bit the inside of my mouth yesterday resulting in a tremendous amount of pain. I now have one of those dry skin, cold sore, feels-like-someone-rubbed-sandpaper on my gums things. The worst part is that I can't go more than 5 seconds without having my tongue rub up against it thus reminding me how annoying it is. Secondly, I have a zit just below my lower lip. It's really quite noticeable. How am I supposed to have people take me seriously at work when all they can see is a whitehead? I spend most of my working hours trying to convince people that I'm older than I really am (I'm Wilfred Brimley's stand-in for those diabetes testing commercials). I might as well go get a pair of braces and a Hello Kitty knapsack. By the way, is there anything more ridiculous than an adult with braces? These new invisi-braces are not invisi at all. I'd like to see someone go full bore and get the headgear as well. No point trying to hide it so go ahead and have some fun with it! You could even pimp them with some sweet bling. Presumably the words "pimp" and "bling" are no longer relevant. You'll have to excuse me as I have foregone my subscription to VIBE in favor of Today's Parent.
An artist's rendition of Melissa Etheridge addressing her orthodontic shortcomings

That's enough about me and the inner workings of my face. The weekend is upon us and I couldn't be happier. Sunday is the 3rd annual YACA Cup Golf tournament. The YACA tournament is a Ryder Cup style match between Australians living in and around Toronto and various locals representing Canada. I will be representing Canada and hope to do her proud. Hmmm, that didn't sound quite as patriotic as I would have liked...

Let me just say a quick something about Australians. In short, the world needs more of them (in the context of this piece I am considering Mel Gibson a naturalized US citizen). What event doesn't go better with the addition of an Aussie or two? The answer, none. The chief organizer of this event is a good friend of mine who came to Canada approximately 8 years ago. He has since gone on to embrace this city and country with a passion that those from Toronto would find impossible to match. His compatriots bring a similar level of excitement whenever they're around. There is some talk that "my mate" may pack up his wife and head home some time soon. That would be a huge loss for all of us. I just wanted to put that out there. In the immortal words of Milhouse: "This guyyy, this guuyyy's the greatest!".

None of this means that we will not make every effort to annihilate you Aussies on the golf course while making as many tired Crocodile Dundee jokes as possible. Game on, jerks!

Have a good weekend.

Note: Please don't read into the fact that most of my recent posts have included a certain level of sappiness as a sign that I'm dying of anything.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are so biased.....your dad is from Australia. Of course you love the Aussies!