Thursday, September 6, 2007

Kids these days...

A Halifax high school just announced that they are ending their short-lived hoodie ban. It's tough to screw up the same decision twice but the principal of the school seems to have managed to do just that. Firstly you attempt to address some sort of teenage behavioural issues with a knee-jerk reaction that has nothing to do with the problem itself. Banning hoodies to prevent kids from doing bad things is akin to outlawing large glasses and creepy moustaches as a way to combat child predators. The Principal then follows the ill-advised ban by caving immediately. A couple of twerpy kids whine with such brilliant refrains as "everybody was just totally against it" and you give up. You made the stupid rule so you should stick to it. Instead, you reward grammatically-challenged snivelling by giving in to the kids.

If it was up to me I would ban kids from having many, many things. In fact, so many things would be banned under my rules that it would be just easier to list what wasn't banned. My disdain for much of what kids do, say and wear has been exacerbated since my daughter was born. Perhaps I was just oblivious to the state of today's youth before I had added one to their ranks. Have you ever overheard a conversation amongst young girls recently? It's appalling. Imagine a group of parrots without the ability to listen, if those parrots had been taught to use the word "ommagod" and very little else. It's enough to make you want to impale yourself on your diaper genie. For the love of Jesus P, I don't know what I'll do if BA starts talking like this. Is it wrong to find your own daughter irritating because I don't know how I couldn't? How do you respond if your kid starts a sentence with "Ommagod", throws in a couple "likes" and ends it with a "totally"? I'd probably just break down in tears. And what the Hell is this High School Musical? You know what I think about things that make you "dance in the aisles". This is what kids can't get enough of today. I'll take a kid in a hoodie listening to Marilyn Manson any day as opposed to the over-bangled, squealing Paris Jr. blaring the High School Musical soundtrack. Hopefully by being vigilant early I can somehow raise this kid properly.

This Sunday afternoon should go a long way to getting her started on the right track. The 2007-2008 Buffalo Bills season begins with a 1:00 PM kick-off against the Denver Broncos. She will be at Daddy's side in her Sunday best (Jr. Jills dress and pink Bills bib). Hopefully I'll have a picture on Monday assuming they win. On the off chance they don't, I probably won't post anything as it's hard to type while lying in the fetal position in a dark room.

I know the Bills are a popular punching bag for many (mostly terrible people like predators and racists). For those of you who are somewhat reasonable people but still choose to dislike the Bills I offer this excerpt from a recent article on Sports Illustrated's website in regards to Bills Quarterback JP Losman and the Buffalo Lives event he organized that brought out 1,100 volunteers to clean up downtown (sent to me by the good people at Look at me I figured out how to put a link in my column). At a time when all we hear about is Rodney Harrison's drug use, Randy Moss running over traffic cops and Tom Brady's disdain for fidelity it's nice to know that not all professional football players are bad people.

"I volunteered for the 'Buffalo Lives' event downtown and it was a cool thing. There were a lot of people and we cleaned up a lot of trash and pulled a lot of weeds all around the town. Some of the famous people I noticed who showed their support were Brian Moorman, Peerless Price, Coy Wire, Josh Stamer, Trent Edwards, Alex Van Pelt and family, and assistant coach Eric Studesville. They actually got down and dirty with us.

J.P. was real nice to all the volunteers and took time after the event to meet and greet the huge crowd that developed around him. He's matured so much in his four years here. Here's the best thing though, and being a proud Buffalonian and bleeding heart like myself, it really makes me root for J.P. even more.

The cleaning and work for the volunteers finished around noon and then everyone got pizza and listened to music until about 1 p.m., when it ended and people went about their day. Anyway, we rolled out of there around 3:45 p.m. and start walking back to city hall, where the car was parked. As we are walking by I notice that there is someone landscaping in this section of land/garden; it was J.P. He was still there after all the volunteers had left, after all the media outlets were gone, after all the sponsors had packed up and headed home, just doing hard work on his own with nobody around. It actually made me feel guilty for booking it earlier.

I just found that really cool, our multi-millionaire California-native QB out doing gardening/landscaping labor for the city so that it can look good. Big ups to No. 7.''

Big ups, indeed. If you're not a fan now, check your pulse.


Anonymous said...

When did you turn 65 again? It's seems you're getting more like my grandpa every day.

I had no idea JP was a steroid freak....he has one of the biggest roid jaws I've ever seen. There's no denying it.

Marty said...

About the "Look at me I figured out how to put a link in my column" quote....

The link doesn't work.

Steve Holt said...

The link has been fixed. Also, as per the anonymous comment that picture was actually washed-up actor Jason Biggs reading for a walk-on part in front of the cast of Superbad. My mistake.

JP is not on roids, roids go on JP when they want to get bigger. That makes very little sense.