Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Happy Family Day, now go get Dad a beer

The promise of another statutory holiday...is that the greatest ploy for votes ever? Why hasn't this been promised before? It's so simple, yet so brilliant. Dalton McGuinty has promised that he will add Family Day as a holiday in February. Of course you'll have to vote for him but that's not such a big sacrifice. There's a decent chance I was going to vote for him anyways. Though a Sens fan he seems like a relatively earnest, hard-working guy. Sure he broke a couple of promises but nothing too serious. He didn't kill anyone and as far as I've heard when he taps his foot it's not meant to signal anything.

John Tory the Tory used to work for Rogers which makes me a bit nervous but that's nothing two new vacation days couldn't get me to overlook. Despite the tone of this column I am not a lazy guy I simply don't have a significant preference which one of these two guys win. As such the extra day off is enough to sway my decision. The NDP would need to offer me a helluva lot to get me to vote for them, perhaps Friday afternoons off all summer and three or four flex days which I could use at my leisure. I guess the time off wouldn't really matter as their handling of the economy would probably put many of us out of work altogether.

My one complaint is the name. Family Day sounds a bit too covertly evangelical for my liking, much like one of those free after school pick-up basketball leagues where the "coach" rounds everyone up at halftime to discuss Jesus. "Family" seems to have been adopted by the JC freaks as one of their code words. What about the people without families or those in non-traditional families? Imagine how miserable Family Day would be for orphans? What about gay orphans? They would be just devastated. Lil' Orphan Lance has been dealt a tough enough hand without his government rubbing his nose in it. What if you just hate your family? Isn't this just a reminder of the shitty stock you come from.

What will be the Family Day traditions? Will there be gifts? Will there be costumes? Perhaps we'll all dress up as members of our family. That would be kinda weird. "Look at me, I'm uncle Gene. I'm a mouth breather who drinks too much and stares inappropriately. I'm cousin Craig. I only give one word answers and give the distinct immpression I'd rather be somewhere else". I doubt this is what Dalton had in mind.

Perhaps Tory John Tory can one-up Dalton with a more entertaining holiday like "Office Pool Day" or "Sleep off your Hangover Day". Hell, I'd be happy with US Thanksgiving North. You've got one month to think of something TJT so you better get cracking. If not, Dalton gets my vote.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha...I love cousin Craig.