Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Where's the brochure on this!?!

Here's something my half-ass weekend crash course on parenting didn't prepare me for. Just after midnight last night I was trying to coax my now five week year old into falling asleep. After what had been easily her best behaved day on record I expected a bit of a fight. Quite the opposite in fact. Rather than stirring and crying she sat their peacefully and gently drifted off to sleep in my arms. What happened next was completely unexpected and somewhat horrifying. As I stared at her I inextricably started crying. It wasn't just a little watery eye like you'll get when you read one of those "small town high school football team lets challenged kid play in the last game of the season" stories. This was real uncontrolled sobbing.

Now in the sober light of day (don't worry, I wasn't drunk. It's just a way to start a new paragraph) I've come to terms with my Dorothy episode. While I was a bit shocked by it I'm not embarrassed. Personally, I'm adding staring at your newborn while listening to hippy, nature sounds to the list of "acceptable crying" events. Future Dads, you'll know what I'm talking about one day. Here's the rest of the list:

- Brian's Song (the original not the Disney version)
- Wide right (Why didn't you take the extra few yards when you had the chance, Thurman?)
- Little people are people too (Charla's speech after getting eliminated from the Amazing Race the first time, by the second time I couldn't have cared less)
- The Christmas Shoes (listen to the words, you heartless monsters. Those poor little buggers are going to lose their Moma and they can't afford new shoes)
- Births
- Funerals

Admittedly the Christmas Shoes makes me a big pansy. The rest is legit. Now if you'll excuse me I have to put my skirt on and go back to work.

1 comment:

Dominic Bugatto said...

You don't wear 'slacks' at the office ?!?!