Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Ron Mexico, role model

As you all know by now Michael Vick has decided to plead guilty and now faces anywhere from 18 months to more than five years for his involvement in an illicit dog fighting ring (I guess all dog fighting is illicit to some degree so that's probably an unnecessary adjective. Sorry to waste your time). Apparently his defense team was prepared to go to trial up until the last minute when Vick decided to take the plea. The defense strategy was two-fold. First, the lawyers were to present the case that Vick, a life long Price is Right fan, had taken Bob Barker's trademark sign-off far too literally. Though horribly misguided Vick was simply trying to do his part to help control the pet population. If anyone is to blame it's Barker and Mark Goodson Productions. Vick's crime was one of caring too much while being too dumb. The second prong of the defense was simply that Vick "is a cat person". Interesting approach.

It's definitely for the best that Vick decided against trying his luck in court. While you never know what may happen with an NFL football player on trial his prospects looked particularly grim. Football players can get away with killing people (OJ, Ray Lewis, Bill Belichick's efforts to kill his own linebacker) but you're SOL if you hurt an animal. Also, I would hate to have Bob Barker's legacy tarnished by being dragged into this as an accomplice. This way we can just remember Bob as the kind old man he was...minus the dirty old man part with the Beauties.

So why, you ask, did I ever dream of using the headline that I did? I actually think its quite fitting. Vick showed us that there comes a time that lying won't work anymore. After denying his involvement in the illegal enterprise up until the very last moment, beyond a point where even his most ardent supporters had thrown in the towel, Vick taught us an important lesson about the truth. Always, always try to lie your way out of things until its so obvious you're screwed then make a deal. The last two U.S. Presidents preceded Vick's example with their own displays of delayed fessing up (the current guy hasn't quite got to the truth part yet but I'm sure it's coming). With role models like these out there my daughter basically doesn't need me anymore.

Also if you're going to do something illegal don't involve anyone named Purnell Peace. I've known a handful of Purnells in my day and you can't trust any of them.

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