Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Little people, big blood alcohol level

You have to feel for little people. Everything they do is viewed in the context of their dwarfism. Take, for example, the news that the star of Little People, Big World was arrested for DUI. Instead of just being treated like any other drunk C-list reality star the coverage focuses on the fact that he's a midget. "Little Star Hit Bar, Drove Car" reads one headline. Why is his "little-ness" relevant? Weren't people listening when Charla made the "Little people are people, too" speech that brought the stone-hearted Phil Keoghan to tears? One day I hope we can live in a world where little people are treated the same as their longer-limbed peers. If some midget decides to say, start a dog-fighting ring let's make it about the dog fighting not the dwarfism.

Upon reflection I've decided to re-instate the name "Craptors". We had decided to drop the name Craptors in reference to the Toronto Raptors earlier this year as the team finally made it back to the playoffs after an unforgiveably long absence. I have since realized that I miss the term. What was originally created as a derogatory term for a trainwreck of a franchise has, over time, become a term of endearment. Now it stands as an acknowledgment of the humble beginnings for what could evolve into a perennial Eastern Conference contender. It was also a bit of a protest against the ridiculousness of the team's given name. "Raptors" was a contrived name designed to make a quick buck on the Jurassic Park dinosaur fever of the mid-90s. Luckily Toronto wasn't given an expansion team in 1988 or we could be cheering for the Toronto Coreys. I wouldn't rule out any level of blatant money-grabbing when it comes to Toronto sports teams. Rumor has it that Richard Peddie was pushing for the Marlies to be called the Toronto Macarenas. He is truly without shame (or taste, apparently). Now there's a douchebag!

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